Keep Going: An Open Letter To My 'Trying to Conceive' Sisters

It's not over. You can do it. Keep trying.

Dear Sisters,

We've spent many months hoping that our missed period was the first indication of early pregnancy. We've taken so many at-home pregnancy tests, in private, and cried on the bathroom floor as we read the negative results. We've attended many baby showers, smiling for the mother-to-be, yet fighting back emotions of "when will it be me?". We've prayed that God hears our prayers of "I'd make a great mother, I promise". We've given vague answers behind a forced smile to questions of "When are y'all going to have kids?". We've daydreamed of holding our own baby with a heart of gratefulness because that means we got our blessing. We've even wrestled with the thought of "why me?".

None of these actions or ideas are wrong. No one knows what it's like to be us and feel this way besides us. No one can feel the internal pain and heartbreak but us. Yet, no one will feel the victory, relief, happiness and unbelievable joy like we will. We WILL. I know, because I have. You can too.

Along the way, people will give their versions of encouraging words but it can be perceived as them being insensitive. They'll give you unsolicited advice and tips on which positions work best for conception because in their eyes "you're probably not doing something right". People will ask questions, tell you that "maybe you're not supposed to be a mom" all in an attempt to "help" you cope. Truth is, it's out of our control and none of this advice is comforting or helpful.

Do NOT give up. Take moments to go through the emotions and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it but...keep going. Keep digging for information. Keep dreaming. Keep trying. Keep praying. You're not alone. I want to be here for you. We have options, we have choices and we have hope. Some days are dark and the light is nowhere in sight. Some days are amazing, full of positivism. In all those days, we're alive. As long as we're alive and breathing, we have a chance to go after what we want in life. Go (with all of your strength) after becoming that mother that you know you are.

In the end, you may not have received your blessing the way that you'd originally dreamed or hoped. However, you can persevere, not succumb to the negativity and become a mother in an unconventional way.


Your TTC Sis